(Most of these gems are the same guy)
"You know your computers? They aren't really computers - they're different."
"When your ISP (In Store Processor, not Internet service Provider) gets up in the morning, it checks with your POS (Point of Sale) to see what language they're speaking today."
"I'm a former Marine, when I say something's fixed, its damned well fixed." (I thought it was once a marine, always a marine myself...)
"Your POS is speaking in Japanese and your ISP is speaking in Chinese. They don't understand eachother, we have to make them understand eachother."
"Your system didn't open for today because there was too much data clogging up the switch, rebooting it emptied it out."
"I think explosives are the only hope..." (Tech thinks he's on mute, but isn not.) "Uh... no ma'am, I didn't mean that. I'm *sure* we can fix your problem."
"Your registers aren't really computers like you have in your house. They're different. You shouldn't think of them like computers. Think of them as something else." (I'm not exactly sure what else we should think of them as... myself.)
"Its Flawless." (What's flawless? The software we support? *snort* None of us would have jobs if that was true)
Just a few jems from the morning. Our new seating arrangment puts a tech in hearing distance that I could write the techie version of "Shit my Dad Says" with.